20 | Why I’m done with the checklist life (Re-release of my 10 lessons from 2021 & my dreams for 2022)

This week's episode is a special one because it's a re-release of an episode that I recorded and put out last fall.

For those of you who've been around for a while, who you've been with me in the fall, you may remember that I was doing some podcast episodes back then, even though I didn't have an actual, like what I think of as a formal official podcasts, like this one. It wasn't on apple. It wasn't on Spotify. But I *was* recording episodes and putting them out.

I've already brought over a bunch of those episodes, but I hadn't brought this one yet.

Because the topic was my "10 lessons from 2021 and dreams for 2022." And in my mind, it didn't seem like it made sense to bring over, you know, that it would be outdated. It was from December. I had all these thoughts about why it didn't make sense to, to bring over to the podcast. And honestly, I felt really vulnerable bringing this episode over to my "real" podcast. Because I get pretty vulnerable in it. And that felt really uncomfortable.

And the reason I'm sharing this with you is because I want you to know that, you know, I'm right there with you and having these kinds of impostor thoughts, and then I'm working through the imposter thoughts and the fears of putting myself out there. And the whole reason for this podcast is that I want to show people that it's a lot more common than we think, to have imposter thoughts and to second guess and that, and that it's okay to, to work through them and to push past them and to lean into our own vulnerability.

So I wanted to share this episode with you and to share those thoughts and to take my own medicine or walk my talk as it were. And and lean into that discomfort and share something that feels very raw and feels very vulnerable to share. So please enjoy this week's episode.

And for those of you who are listening and you're finding value in this and you're enjoying it, or you have ideas for what you'd love me to talk about, please reach out. It truly means the world to me to hear from you to hear that this made a difference, or gave you a new idea, or just helped brighten up your day.

xo
Liz

Well, Hey there, welcome to this week's episode. And this week's episode is a special one because it's a rerelease of an episode that I recorded and put out. Last fall and last December. And for those of you who've been around for a while, who you've been with me in the fall, you may remember that I was doing some podcast episodes back then, even though I didn't have an actual, like what I think of as a formal official podcasts, like this one. So it wasn't on apple. It wasn't on Spotify, but I was recording episodes and putting them out.

Now a lot of those ones I have already brought over and this one, I didn't bring over it yet. And I didn't bring over at the time.

And the reason was that I recorded it in December. And the topic was my 10 dreams or sorry, my 10 lessons learned from 2021. And my dreams for 2022. And in my mind, it didn't seem like it made sense to bring over, you know, that it would be outdated. It was from December. And honestly, I just had all these thoughts about why it didn't make sense to, to bring over to, to the podcast.

And for those of you who are, who are really in and you're listening every week, you know, that I'm all about. You know, pushing through those imposter thoughts and really working on, on how we're showing up and leaning into vulnerability as well. Because honestly, like the other piece that was sort of hidden and other hidden reason, I didn't bring it over. Was because I do get a bit vulnerable in that, in that episode. And, and it felt. Safe. It felt safe enough to publish. When I wasn't doing a formal podcast, it was just my list and it felt like maybe only a couple people would see it. I mean, honestly, even that when I hit publish, I had like all the fears, all the thoughts that were going on.

And the reason I'm sharing this with you is because I want you to know that, you know, I'm right there with you and having these kinds of thoughts, and then working through the imposter thoughts and the fears of putting myself out there. And I mean, part of the reason for this podcast is that I want to show people that it's a lot more common than we think too, to have imposter thoughts and to second guess and that, and that it's okay to, to work through them and to push past them and to lean into our own vulnerability.

You know, even if like how I felt in this case, even if it feels like you're getting naked in front of people with, with all the vulnerability. So. I realized that I, it would be good for me anyways. To work through my own imposter thoughts and bring it over to the actual formal podcast. But the other reason is that in conversations with, with you listeners and with other people in different, different communities, and I'm in just realizing just how much people are feeling like they're burning the candle at both ends feeling tired, feeling a lot of pressure. And when I had gone back and listened to the episode, I realized that there were some.

You know, I had, I was sharing some thoughts around this and I thought we really helpful to share again. And one of them being the title of this episode being, you know, why I'm done with the checklist life. And I talk about that and why I'm done with the hustle. And I talk, talk about what the hustle means and what it feels like and why it's so tiring. And it feels so tight.

So I wanted to share this episode with you and to share those thoughts and to take my own medicine or walk my talk as it were. And, and lean into that discomfort and share something that feels very raw and feels very vulnerable to share. So please enjoy it. Enjoy this week's episode. And for those of you who are listening and you're finding value in this and you're enjoying it, or you have ideas for what you'd love me to talk about.

Please reach out. It, it really, I truly mean it. It really means the world to me to hear from you to hear that this made a difference or, or gave you a new idea or just helped, you know, um, live in up your step, bring a little bit of, of, um, uh, what do they say? Pep pep in your step. Is that the phrase, a little bit of joy to your staff, a little bit of joy to your world.

Um, I really, really would love to hear it. It really brightens my day to know that that this is helpful to you, that it, that it does brighten your world. So just check. All you have to do is check out the show notes. There's lots of ways to find me my email or LinkedIn or anywhere else where you can send me a DM, please reach out. It truly, truly means the world to me to hear from you.

So with that. Here is this week's episode a rerelease of my lessons from 2021. and my dreams for 2022.

Well hey there, I'm Liz St. Jean and this is unruly leadership podcast where I help subject matter experts like you design a career on your terms. It's where strategy meets intuition to help you break the rules, ignore the rules and make your own damn rules. So let's break free from perfectionism, imposter thoughts, and that inner rule keeper, that's keeping you in your career comfort zone.

It's time to become unapologetically you and step into the life you were meant to live. We're going to talk presence, productivity career, and having it all. Or as my four-year-old would say - we're going to take over the world. So let's get to it.

Well, hello, their friend. And thank you so much for joining me on this episode today. It is going to be an interesting one because. I am. I'm gonna be getting a bit, a bit vulnerable here and sharing some things with you and letting you in on a little bit of 20, 21 and how, how it was for me. It, um, I think, I think for all of all I know for all of us, it was, it was hard.

And so it was hard, hard for me as well, but there was also beauty and, and hope and love. And so I wanted to put together. This podcast episode to share it with you. And I mean, I'll actually just start it off by being fully, fully transparent. I had something else planned for this episode. It was, um, I can't even remember it now.

Honestly, it was going to be some kind of strategy or talking about, um, some sort of career based strategy and I, I just didn't quite feel right. So I actually went to. One of the Facebook groups that I'm in, that I'm very active and quite active in. And I just put it out there. And I said that I was kind of blanking on the idea.

I mean, I kind of had an idea in the back of my mind, but I was blanking on a good, I, I guess I should have written that I was blanking on like a good idea of what to do with the episode on. And I asked people for their, their thoughts and their, their insights into, or ideas or requests even, and a few people wrote things and.

And it really, really made me realize that we are, we're all in kind of a contemplative mood right now. Right. It makes, makes sense. Of course, or coming towards the end of the year, that's generally a contemplative time. Um, but also where, wherever you are in the world, I think we're all also looking at, um, you, I think we all, we thought the pandemic was, was over or almost over.

Right. We could see it and then Aron or however we pronounce it just came out and just like. Oh really like really it needs to be over. So we're feeling we're, we're sort of tired over the end of the year, but we're also a bit contemplative, right? We keep hearing about the great resignation people are leaving and we're really just reevaluating and looking and looking.

And I more deeply, I, I was chatting chit chatting earlier today, over Facebook messenger with a friend. And we were just talking about how it feels like so many of us are kind of shifting away from. These external based goals, like get a six figure job or get a promotion or get like, and we were saying to each other, like, it, it feels like there's a real tightness around those goals.

Those, even though they're very tangible and specific and you're always told, oh, choose a specific tangible goal, but it feels very tight. It feels like a hustle energy. And I think, I think that we're all just so tired. I know I am, and I'm sure we all are right. We're tired, but it's not just about being tired and not being wanting to, or able to go for those goals.

It's like, we're kind of tired of those goals. We're kind of tired of this idea of having to be something and prove ourselves and setting these expectations of what we're supposed to achieve. And, and I feel like. I feel like we're, we're all looking for something deeper we're looking for for a life and career.

Dare I say, with meaning. And the reason I say that is even as I say, a career just has those connotations. It has those overtones of expectation and, um, achievement and all these things that we're supposed to do this checklist of our, of our life. And I think that, I feel like we're kind of moving. Beyond having a checklist for our life.

And I, I know most of you are listening are in the working professionals, but I'll let it sort of give you a sneak peek behind the scenes to, for, for entrepreneurs, coaches, people who have businesses we're often told to, um, create. Um, optins and, and they're called optins, we're often create told to create these, um, uh, resources for people, which is wonderful.

Of course. And anyone, anyone, any of you who went to my website, you know that I've got lots of resources for you and they often say, oh, give a checklist. Like, oh, that's a great resource to get someone started. And I mean, I feel, and I mean, if you're listening to this, if especially if you've been following me, I feel like you're probably on board with me on this.

It's like, we're kind of. Tired of the checklist life. Like we're kind of done with that. And it's more about who we are, who we're becoming, who we're connected with. It's the who, the who of us, if , that makes any sense. It probably doesn't make any sense, but you know, stick with me. So anyhow, uh, that is what this episode is going to be.

It's going to be there. I've got, I'm giving you a list of the, the 10 things that. Learned from 20, 21 or 10 lessons from 2021. And, and my dreams for 2022. And like I said, I was chatting with a friend earlier and, and I was telling her that, that I'm just, I'm kind of over the word goals, even like, like at first I was writing, oh, my goals for 2022, but I'm kind of, I'm kind of done with that.

I'm kind of done. That approach to life and career. And instead I wanna dream again. I wanna dream. I wanna hope I want to, I want to love, I want to have all those kinds of emotions instead of the hustle game, instead of the trying and, and, and feeling strained and tight I'm I'm over that. And then I, I think you're over it too.

You let me know, send me, send me a message, send me an email, DM me, find me and send me a note and let me know, are you on board with that? Are, are you over that kind of life? And are, are you on board with me with the dream and, and dreaming, even though I know I we're tired, right? We are tired. And that's why I love about the idea of dream and hope and optimism is that we know that we can keep going.

And I think a lot actually about, um, the scene from frozen too, for those of you who have kids like me and have seen frozen how many times, and have listened to frozen, how many times actually, as an aside to the aside, frozen and related songs, those are on my Spotify wrap up. I don't know about you, but I had frozen Moana and some sort of dinosaur stomp song that was at the top of my spot.

If I wrap up, which is, which is pretty appropriate. Was whoa. Whoa. Right. So going back to my first aside, uh, the, the scene in frozen two. And for those of you who've seen it. You'll know. I think you already know what I'm gonna talk about for those of you who haven't seen it. There's this one scene where Anna, one of the main characters, um, has some loss in her, in her world and she's in a, a cave in darkness and a fit, literally a cave she's in, in the cave, but it's also figurative.

Right? And she sings a song about moving forward and moving ahead and. And another interest can get used to me in my aside. Um, another interesting aside is that there's a lot of mental health professions who have really given a lot of accolades to Disney for that scene and for how they treated mental health in that movie.

And they, that they addressed it and they showed mental health and resilience. And. So Anna, in this song, she talks about just moving one, uh, one more step and she calls it the next best thing. Right. We've got the next best thing. And, and I'm forgetting now in this moment as I'm recording, if there's a part of the song, but I think.

I don't think there's a part of the song, but in the movie you can see like she's moving towards the light, right? So it's not just taking any step. She also ha she also is kind of finding the light and I think it's the same for us. We can have that hope, have that optimism and we can take that next best step.

We can take steps towards it and. so that's why I'm moving towards that language of dreams and hope and optimism, and moving away from that language of goals and promotions and six figures and, and, and all those, those, you know, external achievement based language. And I hope you join me with it. So, so with that, let me, let me tell you about these, these 10 lessons.

And some of them, some of them are, are, so some of 'em are pretty vulnerable, you know, I'm, I'm. You're going to open up about a few things. Um, some of them are a little bit on the funnier side, a little bit on the lighter side. Um, but I just wanted to, to share with you my lessons of 2021, and, and then tell you my dreams for 2022, I'll share with you my dreams.

And I'll, I'll share with you the inspiration behind my dreams. So, okay. Let's start, uh, first lesson from 2021. This is a little on the lighter side and. if it's not target, it's gonna be Chanel. So let me explain that and I, how to explain I'm Canadian. So first of all, I actually, I don't even technically have target.

So I guess my equivalent would be like Ikea or, or Walmart, maybe even, but let's say Ikea and Chanel, I don't actually even have Chanel yet, but this is a lesson I'm taking the, the gist of the lesson, the figurative lesson. And it came out of a, a different conversation I had in that same Facebook group where I was asking people, I'd asked the question.

um, if you had $10,000, someone gave you $10,000, but you could only spend it in one place. Where would you, where would you spend, who would get all your money? And what I thought was so fun and I think people had fun with it too, but what was so fun is that it was a, a, I mean, I saw lots of different answers, but it was a split between target and Chanel.

And I kind of love that. I love that Foria too. I kind of feel that way too, in a sense, like, in that sense of, um, I I'm okay with investing. So there's such Chanel piece. Like I really realize like I'm okay with investing in something that I'm going to love. And for me it might not be Chanel. And I'm gonna talk about that in a moment where I do invest that, that money.

It's more, it's actually more, more local and small based business, but I'll mention that in a moment. Um, And, but if it's not Chanel, then I'm, I'm kind of okay with, with getting something, getting like the Ikea furniture. Our house is like, we have a lot of Ikea furniture and, you know, having a Scandinavia background, I feel like I'm, you know, supporting my, my generational Homeland in a way.

Um, but I'm okay with that. And, and not feeling like I have to. Spend more, unless it's for an investment, unless it's for something I love. And so I mentioned, I kind of alluded to it earlier, where I've been doing that is, um, is, is more so in local and small business and local and kind of owner, either owner operated or I guess a small, small business.

I just wanted to give a quick shout out to a few companies that are mostly here, where I'm at in Ottawa, but also one that's based out of the BC Vancouver area. Uh, because I just love them. I love the quality. I love the, uh, the, the service, a customer service. I just love them. So the first one I wanna shout out is called 10 tree.

And it is a clothing company and they also donate part of their proceeds go towards planting trees. Um, so they're amazing and their clothing is so comfortable. Oh my goodness. If you want comfortable clothing, that also looks good. And also having a, a thought towards the environment, right? They're they're environmentally conscious.

So check them out 10 tree then. And they're the ones based in BC. Now the others are all based here in Ottawa. So anyone who's listening from Ottawa, check out these places. They're amazing. One is three wild women, which I mean, who doesn't wanna show up there based on the name alone, again, clothing store, great clothes again with the investment.

Like it's, it's nice to have clothes that feel good. That look good. And so I definitely recommend checking them out. There's also country moments, spa they're out in nav. Oh, so lovely. I love them. I got facial there. I've uh, I've never really been a big facial person, but I just realized that investment into myself was so worth it.

And then the last one I wanted to highlight is called Keke shows. So they do high tea and they do methadones. And they're also here at Ottawa and absolutely wonderful. And I believe all of them. Also offer maybe, maybe not this Bob, but the others also offer shipping of all their products. So definitely check.

Okay. So that's my first lesson. My second lesson is, is somewhat related and it was a lesson that I'm realizing that life, life needs to have beauty in it. And for me, that was realizing that, uh, our living room, we didn't really spend much time in it. And we were kind of looking around and realizing it looked, oh, I don't know.

It looked a little bit like a, like a, a, a broke university student decorated. And I I'm thinking about myself. I was a broke university student, so I know exactly what that's like. And it was just, I was just realizing, okay, we need to fix this up. So went out and made some again with, actually with the investments and bought a series of prints by any, um, an indigenous artist, a Canadian indigenous artist.

And got them, had them framed and they're up on the wall then also picked up a, um, a rug from Ikea, actually, you know what? This was unplanned, but it totally supports my point. Number one, if it's not Ikea, then it's local small business um, and so we put that into the room and it. It just transformed the room and we just walked through it before.

Like we didn't really use it and now I love going in there. I actually do so I do every morning. I do, um, a meditation on the pelo app. I, I love again with the investment piece. I love the Peloton app. I don't have a Peloton, we have a DIY setup, but I love their app and their meditations are amazing. So every morning I do a meditation and I kind of change up where I do it.

Sometimes I do it. So the room I'm sitting in right now where I'm recording, it's kind of our guest room, but I actually like to call it the inspiration room it's got is beautiful. And it's got a beautiful chair and beautiful, um, again with the beauty, right. Um, beautiful. Uh, what do they call cur? Uh, beautiful shear curtains.

Lovely. And I was usually doing it in here, but what, since we've fixed up the little living room, I've started doing it in the living room and just sitting on the carpet in there and it's just, you, it's just realizing how much. Beauty makes an impact. And this is something I've been saying actually for years, I've loved that with clothing.

So going back to my first lesson, these are, I guess, lessons I've been learning over time and I I've always liked to call my clothes, wearable art. I love getting wearable art. That's just beautiful. Like, and I feel good and people enjoy it. And, um, it's just, it's so lovely. So having beautiful art, beautiful clothes, everyth.

We really deserved to have beauty all around us. That was my second lesson. Now my, my third lesson actually linking off of the, the indigenous art piece. So. W, um, my third lesson is that I have, I have so far to go in my anti-racism journey. So like many people, especially north America, but like many others I've become much more conscious about anti-racism and becoming anti-racist over the last two and a half years.

And. You know, I've been reading about it and, and, and thinking about it, but to be perfectly Frank, not doing the kind of work that I, that really I should be doing and, and I can get away with it. I have the privilege. I have privilege to not have to do that, to not have to do that when I'm very. Conscious of that.

And so one thing I did in October is I signed up for, um, a, how to be an anti-racist course. And it's by a, um, a woman who based outta Toronto Salam, Debs, and it's. it's really making me work a lot. I'm really exa I examine I'm examining a lot about myself. And one of the things I love about her course is that she does start with that.

She's her course is about starting with yourself. You know, if you wanna be an ally that it's not about making other people change, it's about changing yourself first. And so I've been doing a lot of work on that, um, trying to, and, and, and at the same time, just really. Recognizing how much privilege I do have and, and learning and unlearning.

There's a lot of unlearning in her program, unlearning things. And. Just realizing how much I've, you know, like we all have grown up in this system, this, in a, in a racist system, it's a system it's systemic. It's not that we're all that we're trying to be racist. It's about that. There's, there are systemic problems and we've grown up in it.

And we have a lot of unconscious views of the world that we, that are very uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable to, to grapple with. And so I've, I've, that's one big lesson for me is that I have, I have so far to go there's so, so much work to be done. Okay. Now, shifting a bit and getting even, you know, shifting to the next year and starting to get even more vulnerable.

Um, my lesson number four is that it's. Hope is always the way out of darkness. Hope is the way out of darkness. I mentioned earlier the story about, uh, Anna and frozen to Anna and how, you know, one step at a time out of darkness, that's how you get there. And that's really what I learned is that is that it is very difficult to take those steps without hope.

It is very difficult to take those steps when you don't feel optimistic. Um, so for those of you who've been on, who've been on my list and been around my community for, for longer than, than the last year who've been around since last December or earlier. Um, Some of, you may have noticed, this is a thing that you may, may have not have noticed, but, um, I did not send a single email from February through to, through to July and not one single email went out.

Um, those of you who joined since then, you probably did get some emails and that's because you know, behind the scenes, in my business, I have. Automatic emails that go out. If professor, depending on, on how you joined and what you joined. So you would've been getting auto, automated emails. Um, but I did not sit and write a single email and it was.

It was a difficult period. Um, and I'm still working on it. So, um, I, I would like to, I, I plan to be even more open about mental health as I go forward, but I was grappling with my own challenges and, um, and it's, and it's hard. And, and then what happens though? What I, my lesson, what I learned is that hope is what gets us out.

Hope, belief. Optimism belief in something. And even when I realized that even if part, you know, even if it's not that you expect something to happen, so it's not expectation, but it's hope. And that's what shines that light and helps you kind of helps you emerge and.

so let's go to, that was a, that was a deep one, right? That was a deep, kind of more vulnerable lesson. Um, and like I said, I'll, I'll share more as I work through it. I, I want to make sure I'm, I'm doing my own work and working through things and I'll, I'll wanna have these open, honest conversations with, with you all.

So, so with that, let's on a little bit of a, a little bit of a later note, but let's shift gears again to a little bit later. and less than five for me was that there's a, a lot that I can outsource and, and delegate. So, you know, we've for. Of you we've got busy lives, right. It's very full. And there's a, there's a lot that we can, we can outsource.

So what, what I started to do was figuring out, okay, where can I outsource and deciding what was, what was worth it for me? What was not worth it? And so one of the areas that we, we decided was worth, it was Instacart. Yeah. We'd used Instacart a few times when we were in quarantine and we, uh, we couldn't go shopping.

Weren't allowed to leave and just realizing that yeah, there's some extra fees there. Yeah. So it's, it's more expensive to grocery shop. If you use Instacart and. it was the most glorious feeling. I'm gonna tell you, like last night I used it. I, or no last night, two nights, two nights ago, I used it and we've used it a few times now.

So now it's pretty quick because of a lot, we order every week. And so click, click, click, click, click. And I was done. I went grocery shopping in my bathroom at my computer. It was. Beautiful. So I realized that that is something that was absolutely worth it, ESP, you know, and then adding on, I will say this too, because we've got, you know, that that's someone on the other end, it's not just sort of this random auto Tron that's going out.

There's a person, there's a human at the other end, recognizing that, that they're providing the service that they're helping me in it. So, and also making sure that we're giving. giving that, that service, that, um, that recognition by making sure there's an as a good size, uh, tip on there as well. So between the, the tip and the fees, like it is, it is more expensive.

Well, you know, I'm not gonna lie. Um, and, and it's so, so worth it. So worth it. And the other area that I, um, am starting to outsource and delegate more is, um, is bringing on someone as a, uh, virtual assistant. So I have someone helping me now. Part-time and that's Becky. So if ever you're in any of my Facebook groups or, or you see her name come up, Becky is wonderful and amazing.

Couldn't do any, couldn't do it without her at this point and bringing her on for more and more as we go. Okay. Um, And the reason that's important is it brings me to, to my lesson number six and lesson six is this shit is hard. it's hard life this year and last year, and just probably end before too. But like, it's been hard for all for everyone, whether you have kids or don't have kids, whether you're caring for aging parents or you're not like whatever your circumstance, it is hard.

And the other piece to that too, is that even when it's, and when it's hard is that people don't always see you struggling. Because we, and often end up putting out an image, we present an image, or at least we don't, we're not open about the struggle that people just assume everything's okay. If they don't hear anything.

you know, I mentioned earlier about not emailing out to my list for seven months and I have folks who are on there who, um, they, some of them, I think, well, some of them even told me that they, they actually just thought I'd taken them off, that, that they were, had been removed from the list. Like, and I don't think it might not have occurred to them that there was something happening behind the scenes that was going on.

And so the lesson around that is that it's so important to let people in and it's, and. It's important to so that they know, especially because connection matters connecting to other humans, especially when you're going through a hard time, when shit is hard, you want to have people at your back, you need people to support you in it.

And that was a turning point for me. A big turning point was, um, was Canada today. We got together with some friends because we had been pretty, we've been very careful with some exceptions. We've been quite very careful about getting together and then. We realized we could start getting together outdoors.

And so we, we got together with some friends, um, very close, very close friends, and, and also started opening up a bit, um, you know, opening up a bit more about what was going on and the struggles, and just being able to share that, being able to share with someone else and connect with them. That matters so much.

So if you're also struggling and you feel like you need something, it's probably connection. It's probably being able to reach out to someone and connect and share your story and, and know that someone sees you right. Then the next lesson I learned after that was, as I started having that hope back and I started getting excited about.

About my coaching again and about my business. And it really became clear to me that what I'm meant to do is to help working professionals love their Monday mornings. I went back and I, I looked at all my favorite clients. I mean, I've got a lot of, they're all, they're all favorites, but I went back and looked at some of the ones that, that really stood out and realized that that was a common denominator for, for the people that had the, that I think that I think got the most from working with me is that they really wanted to love their Monday mornings.

And I, and I believe that everyone deserves to love their Monday mornings. Now on, onto the lighter side with number eight, I also learned, and, and just sort of accepted that, that I love collecting books. So even though I prefer listening to them, so, um, So something about that I'm working on is that there's a, um, when my, my therapist thinks it's a good chance I have, uh, adult ADHD.

We're not totally sure I haven't had the formal diagnosis yet, but one of the things that comes along with that is that I find it much easier to learn and quote, read by listening. Yet. I love physical books and little fun fact. I just counted them up. I just realized I ordered 15 books last month. So there, and I just, what I realized too, is that part of it is a, is back to that beauty thing.

I love the beauty. I'm looking at them right now. Actually. I love the beauty of seeing the books, the ideas, the words, and the concepts that people have poured into these books. I, and I love to look at them. Um, one of the things I offer and anyone who's listening can reach out for. , uh, I love offering personalized reading lists and giving people a list of five books based on, on their circumstances and how they like to learn.

And one of the things I often do when someone puts in one of those requests is I often just go and I stand in front of my bookshelf and I look and I'm and I can kind of, oh, this sounds, oh my goodness. This sounds so. Woo. Woo. I know, but like, I just, I. Feel okay. Which books are speaking to me. And it's almost like, it sounds so funny.

Right. But it sounds, it's like a scene from a movie. Like if you imagine, like, almost like a sci-fi movie where some of the books glow, like that's what happens for me. And I just, so I love books. I love words. I love seeing books. I love feeling them. And at the same time, I will often also get the same book on audio so that I can listen to it.

so that's a funny little thing I learned about. which actually leads to my number nine lesson, which is that self acceptance is the greatest gift you can give yourself self acceptance, self love. So for me, it's, I, I realize, oh, I love collecting books, even though I listen to them like accepting and loving yourself.

Forgiving yourself. Like those are just, they're so important. They're such beautiful gifts you can give yourself. And part of that is related to the, the quote, unquote, having it all or doing it all. And recognizing that, that looks different for everyone that. That's a lesson that became so important for me over this last year is really settling into accepting myself for who I am and not just even accepting, but loving myself for who I am and being okay that I do things I might do things differently than someone else does.

And I might do things differently that some other people may judge it. A hundred percent. I, we all know that people, judge, we hear it. We say it. We judge everyone judges, right. Someone might judge me for certain choices and that's okay. It's okay. Cause they see the world a different, different way. They have different priorities, different values, different views, and it's okay.

And I can still love myself for, for who I am and for what works, what works for me. So for example, I live quite close to my kid's school and we used to walk. And it would take over 30 minutes and it's like, it's really close. It would take over 30 minutes. And I was so frustrated and I was also holding myself up to this expectation that I should be relaxed and, and let him play on the walk and this and that.

And I just came to the realization that no, this is not working. This is, this is not good. And so one and one day I just decided to drive him. Y'all it's like, it's probably a 32nd drive when I'm, because when driving 30 minute walk, 32nd drive and I feel a little bit ridiculous. Like part of me has that like, oh, that feels ridiculous.

And at the same time, it's so beautiful because now, now I get to spend 30 minutes in my morning that previously I was walking and feeling so frustrated. Now I get to spend 30 minutes playing. We build Legos, or we work with the magnets. Sometimes there's coloring and we get to have this beautiful time together.

And then I drive him over and it feels so good. Oh my goodness. It was like that feeling, that Instacart feeling I described earlier, like going grocery, shopping in my house, my house coat at my computer. Similar thing, driving the 30 seconds, or maybe it's a minute. I'm not sure. Driving him over. Beautiful.

Beautiful thing and not worrying. I mean, someone, so maybe someone listening is judging. I don't know someone might be judging and I'm aware of it. And I'm aware that I probably, I still have some of my own mindset stuff to work on. Cause I'm still thinking about it a bit, obviously, but I'm realizing that's why I said having it all looks different for everyone.

And that self love is just such an important gift and all that leads to my lesson. Number 10. And I really hope you all have the same lesson that we all have the same lesson and lesson 10 for me is that, that I am me. And it's a wonderful thing. You know, we are who we are and it's wonderful and it's beautiful and we can all be who we are.

You know, I sort of say it. I always said it jokingly, but I ki yeah. A little bit tongue and cheek, but you know, I don't need to be a Pinterest mom. I'm so not a Pinterest mom, but I am me, you know, you don't have to have an El on the shelf, you know, it's you see this in the mom group. So if you're, if you're a parent, you know what I'm talking about, you don't have to have a Mo elf on the shelf.

And if you do have an on a shelf, it's okay that you don't move it every day. Like it's okay. You are who you are. And it's wonderful. And it's also okay. If you don't have it, or if you do have an L on a shelf and you do move it every day, that's beautiful. That's wonderful. How fun, you know, I don't have an elephant on the shelf and that's wonderful and that's fine.

That's fun. I do other fun things. You may have an elephant on the shelf that gets moved every four days. When you remember sometimes maybe he just moves his arm up. I don't know. and that's wonderful. And it's wonderful. So you are you. I am me and it's wonderful. . And so that brings me to the dreams that I wanna share with you.

What are my dreams for 2022? so my dreams are really inspired by there's a song called come alive from the greatest showman come alive. I really recommend listening to it, reading the lyrics, especially. So everything I'm about to tell you is, is inspired by the lyrics of that song about coming alive. And so my first dream, which is going to be starting so soon is the escape a toxic job summit.

so that you can love your Monday mornings. Again, this is a summit. The, my, my min ambition summit that I run the, the addition this year is escape a toxic job and it's in January. So if you're listening to this, get ready. There's a pre-registration page. That's open right now. And registration opens so soon.

It's a free summit. There's a, there's an upgrade you can get for even more amazing content, but the, the, the entry ticket is free. So please come. It's amazing. Go check it out. Mint ambition.com. Slash summit. That was my first dream. Second dream is what I'm doing right now. And I will officially launch it in about, I think in February is when I'll officially launch it, this podcast, the unruly leadership podcast.

And it's all about breaking free from other people's rules and other people's expectations. So you can be more than you could ever be. So as this podcast is coming to life coming. then I'll also have my mint ambition bootcamp. That'll be in March, I think, towards the end of March. And that's for anyone who's ready to flip the switch in your career.

You wanna brighten up those days. You wanna take the world, you wanna redefine it. So you definitely wanna come to bootcamp cuz you'll never be the same. . And then finally I have a, a mastermind that I run only available to people who've who've taken bootcamp already. Bootcamp is the introduction, and then you go into the mastermind.

If you, if you, if you want afterwards. And that's all about dreaming with your eyes wide open. So that'll be kicking off around April may, maybe it's me and everyone who joins that is about feeling electrified, dreaming with your eyes wide open, like I mentioned is about coming together. And shining. We're gonna shine together, shining in your life, shining in your career and through it all.

It's, it's all about loving your Monday mornings. I believe everyone deserves to love Monday mornings. You should love the work. You do love the impact that you're making have a meaningful career where you're making impact. And one where you also love your. You can have a peaceful life at the same time, you can have that calm, have that beautiful relationship with your family, that beautiful relationship with your friends and that beautiful relationship with yourself, feeling wonderful, feeling that hope, feeling that optimism, even if things have been dark, even if things are still dark.

You know, I'm still working through what I'm working through, and yet you can have optimism and hope at the same time. You can see that light and you can shine. And, and even if right now, even if right now, it's just that you're taking a step towards that light or just taking a step, having some movement moving towards that light, having that belief, having that optimism because you are wonderful.

You are so wonderful and you are meant to have impact. You're meant to have impact. You're meant to have dreams. Eh, and I love that. I love that you have dreams and you can have hope. You can have belief in moving forward.

So with that, those are my 10 lessons for 2021. And my dreams for 2022, I would love to hear yours. Send me a DM, send me an email, send me a note. Send me a text for those of you who know me personally. I've got a few of you on here. Hi mom. and I wanna hear, you know, what were your lessons? What were your 10 lessons from 2021?

What are your dreams for 2022? Let me know. and, and be okay with being, with having dreams and not feeling that tightness of expectation is like I was saying, you are wonderful. You're meant to be here. You're meant to have impact, and you can keep staking steps towards it to coming alive, breaking free from other people's expectations to being a bright shining star.

and to have that hope. So at the end of it all, it's about it's about that hope. So I would love for you to share with me what your hope is, what your dreams are, let me know and have a wonderful rest of your day.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If this podcast helped you or inspired you in any way, I would love for you to leave me a review over on apple podcasts, it takes 20 seconds, if that, and it's, it's honestly the easiest way for you to thank me for this episode. Every time I see a review, it brings me so much joy and it just lights me up.

So if you could do that for me, I would be ever so grateful. Now, the other thing you can do is you can take a screenshot of this episode or even a screenshot of your review and send it to a friend or share it in a Facebook group or even post on your LinkedIn newsfeed to let other people know about this podcast and this episode.

Thanks again. And now get out there and start breaking some rules.